How History Books Will Remember The Government Shut Down: A Masterpost
i never want this post to die
I miss this
I actually really really love things like this - documenting the documenting of recent history. Like somewhere I have this screenshot of Obama announcing the capture and death of bin Laden and the top comment is about the Play Station network being down. Like because of our weird interaction with history through the creation of this kind of documentation, we actually record all kinds of connections and things that would be otherwise lost.
And technology makes it so easy for decentralized voices to become part of the recording and collecting of that history.
It’s all very cool.
on the ice bucket challenge
my dad died from ALS when i was 3 years old. he was 36. my mom was 33. that was 30 years ago. now i’m the same age my mom was when my dad died. and there is still no cure for ALS.
this is what happens when you have ALS: your muscles slowly stop working, one part at a time. for my dad, first he couldn’t use one of his hands. then his arm. then the other arm. then he couldn’t walk. then he couldn’t stand up. then he couldn’t talk. then he couldn’t swallow. then he couldn’t breathe. then he was dead.
this all took about two years. he was diagnosed when i was about one year old. the only memories i have about my dad are of an inert body in a wheelchair or lying in a bed with a bunch of tubes stuck into it. as i was learning to talk, he was losing the ability to speak. as i was learning to walk, he stopped being able to move. my mom often had to choose between who she was going to help go to the bathroom at any given moment: her husband or her toddler.
after my dad died, my mom took over the philadelphia chapter of the ALS association. it consisted of a shoebox full of notecards with names on it. now it is a multi-million dollar organization with a large staff. she is still in charge. my mom is one of the most amazing people on the planet, basically.
these past couple weeks have been mind-boggling. i have openly wept watching so many of these videos. i still don’t completely get how all of this has happened, but now we live in a world in which lil wayne and taylor swift and oprah and justin timberlake and weird al and bill gates talk about ALS. my mom just emailed me this sentence: “lebron james ice bucket challenge.” i mean, IS THIS REAL LIFE?! i just keep saying over and over: holy shit. holy shit. holy shit.
so far, it has raised over 10 million dollars… and counting. my mom has spent every single day of her life for the past three decades trying to get this kind of attention and funds for this disease.
i don’t care if it’s a stupid gimmick. i don’t care if people are just doing this because it’s trendy or because they want pats on the back. i don’t care if it’s the new harlem shake. i don’t care if for the rest of my life, when i talk about ALS, i have to say “you know, the ice bucket disease.”
please, everybody, please keep pouring buckets of ice over your heads. please keep donating money. please keep talking about this.
my mom’s chapter:
p.s. the only reason i haven’t done my own ice bucket challenge yet is because i wanted to do it with my mom. we’re seeing each other next week, so it will happen then, i promise.
I was at Walgreens buying my brother a birthday card. An elderly woman was also in the aisle. She said “can you believe they have wedding cards for two men and look even two women!”
But she then said “I’ve seen so many changes in my 80 years, it’s wonderful how things are moving forward.”
[internal tears of joy]
She then mentioned that she didn’t know any gay people but that everyone should be treated like they would want to be treated. I smiled and said “you know one now” and pointed at myself. She smiled, patted my shoulder and said “now I do”.
62 Things the Avengers are Not Allowed to Do.
- 1. Tony is not allowed to replace the entire contents of the cafeteria with pop-tarts just because Thor has declared it the ‘food of the gods.’
- 2. Natasha is not allowed to interrogate new S.H.I.E.L.D. employees and dispose of the ones she deems unworthy.
- 3. Clint is not allowed to continue insisting that is the final step of the interview process to terrified new hires.
- 4. Tony is not allowed to broadcast sing-along songs into the Hulk-cage, no matter amusing he finds teaching Hulk “Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear, turn around”
- 5. Clint is not allowed to put the security feed of the Hulk’s Teddy Bear dance on Youtube.
- 6. Bruce is not allowed to hack into personnel files to look up blackmail material on Director Fury.
- 7. Tony is not allowed to insist that he’s already done so and that Fury’s middle name is Rainbow Sprinkles…. Because it isn’t.
- 8. Thor is not allowed to be naked at Headquarters. Ever.
- 9. Steve is not allowed to address any female S.H.I.E.L.D. agents as ‘little lady,’ ‘broad,’ or ‘dame.’ It only ends in getting slapped.
- 10. Agent Coulson’s name isn’t “Mom.”
- 11. Director Fury should never again be addressed as “Dad”
- 12. Agent Hill is not the Avenger’s wicked stepmother.
- 13. Clint is not allowed to lurk in the shadowy rafters spying on people, unless specifically instructed to do so for an official S.H.I.E.L.D. sanctioned mission.
- 14. ‘Operation Irritate the Fuck Out of Nick Fury’ is not an official mission, no matter what Tony or Natasha say to the contrary.
- 15. Debriefings should not be preceded by tequila shots.
- 16. Debriefings should not be followed by tequila shots.
- 17. There are to be no shots of any kind during debriefings.
- 18. Thor and Hulk will wait to fight until after the battle is over.
- 19. Tony Stark is not God’s gift to women.
- 20. The Avengers do not need matching uniforms.
- 21. Tony and Bruce are not allowed to have a contest to see who can make a bigger “boom” in the lab.
- 22. Thor is not allowed to join in and make the biggest boom with his hammer.
- 23. The Avengers will not be celebrating Steve’s 94th birthday.
- 24. The laboratory is not Tony and Bruce’s ‘Super Secret Genius Clubhouse.’ They are not allowed to bar entry to employees based on IQ test results.
- 25. The Avengers are not making a promotional pin-up calendar. Or a sex tape.
- 26. Iron Man is not making a promotional pin-up calendar. Or a sex tape.
- 27. Tony Stark is not making a promotional pin-up calendar. Or a sex tape.
- 28. Thor is not allowed to ‘bring down the wrath of Odinson’ on the person who ate the last package of pop-tarts.
- 29. Pants are not optional at team meetings.
- 30. ‘Pepper said it was okay’ is not a good enough reason to defy a director order from command.
- 31. The words “What’s the worst that could happen?” are never to be uttered on a mission ever again.
- 32. MC Hammer did not write Thor a theme song.
- 33. Gumby is not the love child of Bruce Banner and Reed Richards.
- 34. Natasha and Clint are not allowed to impersonate members of the clergy ever again. Ever.
- 35. Blasting ‘Don’t Worry, Be Happy’ at top volume into Bruce’s room on loop overnight is not an effective way to suppress the Hulk.
- 36. Hawkeye is not sitting in the rafters waiting to pick off people playing Galaga on their computer during work hours.
- 37. Tony is not allowed to bribe Natasha and Clint to physically, emotionally or psychologically torture General Ross for being ‘a great big douchebucket’ and ‘being mean to Brucie-kins.’
- 38. Steve is ‘Captain America’ not ‘Captain New York and those 49 other, lesser states.’
- 39. ‘Hulk SMASH!’ is not an effective diplomatic policy.
- 40. Tony is not allowed to buy the Dodgers and move them back to Brooklyn to apologize for lighting Steve’s hair on fire.
- 41. The phrase ‘Trust me, I’m a doctor’ never leads anywhere good.
- 42. It is not funny to dare Bruce to drink three quarts of green food coloring before a urine test.
- 43. Steve is not to be introduced as ‘Captain Tightpants’ or ‘The All-American Virgin.’
- 44. The Avengers do not ‘charge into battle, naked like the Celts.’ Except for The Hulk. Sometimes.
- 45. Natasha’s glare is not in fact fatal. Tony is not allowed to continue implying that it is.
- 46. Tony is not allowed to convince Bruce to help him make death ray goggles so that it will be.
- 47. The Avengers are not allowed to overthrow the American government, just because they didn’t like the results from the last election.
- 48. The Avengers are not allowed to overthrow any government, without checking in with S.H.I.E.L.D. first.
- 49. Clint is not allowed to sell Thor any ‘magic beans.’
- 50. Natasha and Clint are not allowed to try to sell Tony to another planet, even if they are promised really cool new weapons in exchange.
- 51. Tony and Bruce are not allowed to go to any science conferences without a chaperone.
- 52. A robot Tony built does not count as a chaperone.
- 53. Nikola Tesla is not a vampire being held in the bowels of S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters.
- 54. Tony and Bruce are not allowed to go searching for him in the name of Science!
- 55. Clint’s super-power is not ‘being super-annoying.’
- 56. The following words and phrases are never to be uttered over communication devices during an active mission ever again: “Exploring sexuality,” “Necrophilia,” “It’s getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes,” “I hate everyone on this mission and I wish they’d die in a fire,” “Nick Fury can go suck on a big bag of sausages,” references to Bruce’s giant stash of weed, mention of anyone’s erection, or “Shawarma.”
- 57. If it makes Tony giggle for more than 30 seconds, it isn’t allowed.
- 58. If it makes Natasha crack a smile, it’s probably illegal.
- 59. Thor taking Jane to see Asgard does not count as an alien abduction. Clint should stop referring to it as such.
- 60. Just because Bruce agreed to work in Tony’s lab, does not mean he needs to get a “Property of Stark Industries” tattoo.
- 61. Tony is not allowed to design a robot to draw said tattoo on Bruce when he falls asleep in the lab.
- 62. Post-mission reports to Director Fury should not start out ‘So let me explain…’
- Plays: 955,437
Ke$ha- Die young (Deconstructed)
okay guys, ke$ha is already great because she’s a parody artist, but.
has anyone listened to this?
it’s probably the most beautiful and sad pop song i’ve heard in a while.
this isn’t ke$ha, it’s kesha.
whenever someone uses die young for characters who die…young, i think they should use this version instead because ouch feels
highlight the numbers
press ctrl and f
type in 9
that was well thought out
Fetuses are children
It’s a fetus until birth. At birth, it becomes sentient.
Children are sentient, conscious, subjective and bodily autonomous people. Fetuses are not.
We need to worry about the born children who are suffering now, rather than worrying about fetuses that don’t have the capacity to suffer.
Fetuses suffer just as much as people after birth do when you kill them, they feel pain, they know what’s happening
That’s absolute hogwash fed to you by pro-life liars and biased doctors who “fudged” numbers, and that’s giving them credit.
Fetuses don’t feel pain until the third trimester, if that. It’s highly likely they can’t feel pain because they are a) unconscious (yes, hey become conscious at birth) and b) the uterus probably keeps them anesthetized until birth.
Most abortions happen in the first trimester.
Have some UNBIASED information!
x - Journal of the American Medical Association on fetal pain.
x - Brain Review: The Importance of Awareness for Understanding Fetal Pain
x - The Emergence of Human Consciousness
x - Fetuses don’t have the ability to differentiate between sensation and pain until the 35th week.
x - Fetal Pain is Horse Hockey: The Study
x - Whole Freakin’ WIki on Fetal Pain, and they cite all the research that the fetus, is likely, to be anesthetized until birth.
TL;DR You’re misinformed and wrong.
“Years ago I learned a very cool thing about Robin Williams, and I couldn’t watch a movie of his afterward without thinking of it. I never actually booked Robin Williams for an event, but I came close enough that his office sent over his rider. For those outside of the entertainment industry, a rider lists out an artist’s specific personal and technical needs for hosting them for an event, anything from bottled water and their green room to sound and lighting requirements. You can learn a lot about a person from their rider. This is where rocks bands list their requirement for green M&Ms (which is actually a surprisingly smart thing to do). This is also where a famous environmentalist requires a large gas-guzzling private jet to fly to the event city, but then requires an electric or hybrid car to take said environmentalist to the event venue when in view of the public.
When I got Robin Williams’ rider, I was very surprised by what I found. He actually had a requirement that for every single event or film he did, the company hiring him also had to hire a certain number of homeless people and put them to work. I never watched a Robin Williams movie the same way after that. I’m sure that on his own time and with his own money, he was working with these people in need, but he’d also decided to use his clout as an entertainer to make sure that production companies and event planners also learned the value of giving people a chance to work their way back. I wonder how many production companies continued the practice into their next non-Robin Williams project, as well as how many people got a chance at a job and the pride of earning an income, even temporarily, from his actions. He was a great multiplier of his impact. Let’s hope that impact lives on without him. Thanks, Robin Williams- not just for laughs, but also for a cool example.”
Brian Lord.org (via boysncroptops)
I would like to point out the green M&Ms thing to explain why all the rest here is important. “A bowl full of green M&Ms” seems like a goofy request until you realise that it has to be waiting for them before they go on, and that means before they unpack everything and start the event, they can take one look in the room and immediately know whether or not their riders were read and understood.
Which means if Robin Williams had a “green M&Ms” esque rider item, you could guarantee that the homeless request was met.(via itseasytoremember)
okay, storytime. At a group sleepover, there’s this girl, the most innocent thing you’ve ever met, k? She nods off on the couch early on in the night. As everyone’s getting ready to play cards, one of my friends lean back and hears her mumbling in her sleep.
My friend motions for everyone to be quiet. The girl snuggles her blanket, smiles, and in the sweetest voice, says, “Go on, Brandon. You can jump. It’s only 30 stories.”
My cousin sleep talks and sleepwalks and we used to sleep in the same bed when we stayed at my grandmother’s house and I have SO MANY STORIES. She’s the kind of sleeptalker who you can say things to once she gets going and she’ll respond and it’s so damn fun.
My little brother sleeptalks too, but only occasionally. We haven’t been sleeping in the same room for a while, but when we did I got things from “SERENA I’M SO HUNGRY” to “OH MY GOD WHERE ARE YOU?! WHERE IS EVERYONE?!”
Good thing is that when you tell him to shut up and go to sleep, he usually goes “Oh. Okay.” and then does.
Okay okay so when I was younger I was sleeping in my sister’s bed because I had a nightmare and she gets out of bed, goes to the kitchen, picks up a packet of ham, brings it back, throws it on the bed and tells me it’s my lunch for work. Then she goes back to sleep. A bit later she sits up and asks why I’m still awake, I tell her I can’t sleep, we have a whole conversation about her sleep talking and then she snores and falls back. Turns out she was asleep the entire time. Then she wakes up and we have the exact same conversation. Sleep talkers are amusing.
According to my friend, I once sat up and said “No, that will never do. I have to rewrite the entire thing you fuckass.” and then I laid back down and slept some more.
one time, while sleeping with my boyfriend, he jerked violently which freaked me out cause my sister was epileptic. i was like HOLY SHIT YOURE EPILEPTIC AND DIDNT TELL ME but no he started crying about a cake that i was baking. he said it looked so good and he wanted to eat it but he’d tripped and he was so. fucking. upset. i just patted his head and told him i’d make another one and he went right back to sleep. didn’t remember any of it the next morning
imagine steve becoming increasingly worried because of all the casual misogyny and he talks about it with bucky
next thing you know bewildered young girls are telling everyone about that one time the winter soldier rescued them from street harassment
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM SO H A P P Y
"heeey baby, wanna suck-"
"SUCK THIS" *punches dick w metal fist*
wait, what do you mean by dick