Scene 3 or the scene better known as The Witches Show up and Babble a Prophecy. Seriously, more witch babble, people. I’m sorry to say this but this is where the whole play takes a turn for the worse. You’ll see what I mean as we get into the thing.
Yeah… I copied/pasted that from a word document that I wrote. Don’t judge me. I didn’t have internets for a couple nights/couldn’t blog. But whatever. Onward, ho!
The three witches meet up and one goes on and on about torturing a sailor because his wife wouldn’t give her a chestnut. After reading Banquo describe the witches later in the scene, I wouldn’t have given her one either. So, I really don’t blame the sailor’s wife and I think the witch freaking out over a chestnut is really harsh. ‘BWAHAHAHA! I’LL MAKE HIM WASTE AWAY IN AGONY FOR ALMOST 2 YEARS!’
Ok, what is the significance of 81 weeks? I’m not sure but I also am too lazy to go actually do the math. Still, I don’t quite get this reaction. But whatever. Forward we go.
Ok, question. Why is a pilot’s thumb such a treasure? And exactly what was a pilot at this time? Someone please explain this….
FIRST WITCH. Here I have a pilot’s thumb,/Wrecked as homeward he did come.
Why is this so special? I would really like to know….
Ok, ok, so here’s the description from Banquo I was talking about:
BANQUO. How far is ’t called to Forres?—What are these/So withered and so wild in their attire,/That look not like th’ inhabitants o’ th’ Earth,/And yet are on ’t?—Live you? Or are you aught/That man may question? You seem to understand me,/By each at once her choppy finger laying/Upon her skinny lips. You should be women,/And yet your beards forbid me to interpret/That you are so.
I really wish I could put a picture on a text post so I could make this funnier. Perhaps I can find a picture on google as to how I imagine the three ugly witches.
(Let’s hope the copy/paste of the picture worked.)
Anyways, it was the best picture I could find. Unfortunately, there are no bears. Or perhaps more fortunately because then I would have named the beard for future reference. But we must still refer to the witches as 1, 2, and 3. I’m thinking I might give them funny names to reference back to at some point. That would greatly amuse me… and probably annoy the hell out of anyone reading this blog.
WHY DO I WANT TO DRAW THEM NOW?! Ugh, moving on.
So, the witches then are all like ‘HAIL MACBETH WHO IS GOING TO MURDER DUNCAN AND BECOME KING AND THEN DIE IN BATTLE! HI, KING. HOW’S IT GOING?’
Actually, no they don’t say that but they might as well have. I mean give away the plot why don’t you?! ‘All hail Macbeth, future king of Scotland.’ And this is the beginning of the end for the whole play. It just unravels into madness from there. Not that it’s unentertaining… it’s just madness.
So the witches spout more babble… about hail. I kind of hope that there’s no hailing going on because then the actors might get hurt… kind of a pun there…. Never mind, ignore it. Or perhaps hailing would be good… considering it might make the witches go away…. In case you couldn’t tell, they’re my least favorite in all the play.
Anyways, they give Banquo a cryptic prophecy telling him he’ll never be king of Scotland but eight kings shall come from his loins. Wait, did they actually say loins? I’m going to have to look that up because if they didn’t, I just typed something that sounds inappropriate when said aloud for no good reason.
And then the witches disappear… once all the mischief is wrought. WITCHES! COME BACK HERE, I DEMAND YOU! WILL TIME TRAVEL EVER BE INVENTED? WILL I EVER SRPOUT KINGS FROM MY LOINS? But most importantly…. WILL I EVER KILL A MAN FOR A CHEESEBURGER? PLEASE, THIS IS IMPORTANT!
*Ahem* I should stop being ridiculous… but it’s so easy!
Anyways, a lord named Ross shows up with Lord Hamburglar to give Macbeth the news of his ascension as Thane of Cawdor… just like the witches predicted. Ok, so it’s Angus but I like Hamburglar better because Angus is a type of beef. Judge me not, I can’t stop thinking about Burger King and how we don’t have it where I live. I have to drive four hours to get to the nearest one. And so I’m saturated with MacDonalds.
Wait, why am I degressing into talk about food? Probably because of Miki’s latest post. Augh! Why can’t I stop being ridiculous! I must focus on Macbeth!
Anyways, Hamburglar reveals that the original Thane of Cawdor (not Macbeth) is a traitor sentenced to death and that the king commands everyone to know that Macbeth is the new Thane of Cawdor. Touching, huh?
Oh, wait, I forgot to mention Banquo’s comment about drugs. Why would he even suspect they were on drugs? What, were they shooting up shrooms or something earlier? I demand an explanation! And why did I even forget to mention that? I remember it bugging me when I first read it. How could that have possibly slipped my mind? //sighs I must be going mad….
So… back to Macbeth finding out he’s the new Thane of Cawdor… while being high… on shrooms…. Shakespeare, you are one hell of a writer. Even if it sometimes doesn’t make a whole lot of sense when you look at it this way. I mean, it does but then it doesn’t. Sir, you irritate me greatly!
Banquo gives Macbeth some advice telling him not to hang his hopes too high on the words of witches. It seems the shrooms haven’t affected his reasoning at all. Macbeth’s, however, is not in the same state. It appears these shrooms have taken out a great chunk of Macbeth’s brain let alone his reasoning skills.Oh, and as a side note, ‘homie’ was originally ‘home’. Because that’s what Banquo calls Macbeth. Home. I kid you not. Evidence that Banquo is slightly elevated but not nearly as high as Macbeth.
MACBETH. This supernatural soliciting/Cannot be ill, cannot be good. If ill,/Why hath it given me earnest of success,/Commencing in a truth? I am thane of Cawdor./If good, why do I yield to that suggestion/Whose horrid image doth unfix my hair/And make my seated heart knock at my ribs,/Against the use of nature? Present fears/Are less than horrible imaginings./My thought, whose murder yet is but fantastical,/Shakes so my single state of man/That function is smothered in surmise,/And nothing is but what is not.
What Macbeth means is:
MACBETH. This supernatural temptation doesn’t seem like it can be a bad thing, but it can’t be good either. If it’s a bad thing, why was I promised a promotion that turned out to be true? Now I’m the thane of Cawdor, just like they said I would be. But if this is a good thing, why do I find myself thinking about murdering King Duncan, a thought so horrifying that it makes my hair stand on end and my heart pound inside my chest? The dangers that actually threaten me here and now frighten me less than the horrible things I’m imagining. Even though it’s just a fantasy so far, the mere thought of committing murder shakes me up so much that I hardly know who I am anymore. My ability to act is stifled by my thoughts and speculations, and the only things that matter to me are things that don’t really exist.
No more shrooms for you, buddy. But why did you devolve so quickly into thoughts of murder? Isn’t it totally possible to be king withOUT murder? I mean, come on! I’ve seen ambitious people, sure. But not people who were like ‘Oh, I think I’ll commit murder.’ What-I-don’t-even-
And then the all leave to go see the king. What?
So, yeah, you see why I say this is just ridiculous, right? It’s not that it’s poorly written or anything like that. I mean, I’m enjoying the thing so far but it leaves me with so many questions. Most of them consisting of ‘why?’
So, predictions for the next scene:
Macbeth shoots up shrooms with the king. The king offers Hamburglar the throne. Hamburglar refuses saying he’d rather Macbeth be king. The witches show up to spout more prophecies, this time the Hamburglar is guaranteed many much treasures through out the rest of his life. Exuant stage right.